The Second Life Friends List: We Need A Scale

Whoever designed the Friends list was clearly a computer geek and not a psychologist. Why? Because it uses binary logic. A person is either on the list or off. You're either a friend or not a friend. See, a binary model; a zero or a one.

Relationships are much more complicated than that. There are nuances and flavors of friendship ranging from "I think I remember you vaguely from when I was a noob" to "will you have my prim babies." What we really needed is a tagged Friends list: a list that allows for sub-categories of "friend."

Here's my first stab at a taxonomy.

Contacts: These are folks who are on your list because there's a better-than-one-in-a-hundred chance you may want to contact them sometime before you quit Second Life but you're not quite sure. You have talked to them at least once and they seemed, at one time, vaguely interesting. They are the sort of people that you would drop in exchange for a pair of Bax Coen shoes, Stiletto Moody boots, or a night out with Mimmi Boa, Miss SL Universe 2009.

Colleagues: They are on your list because you have some sort of job in Second Life and these folks help you do well at it. OK, so maybe this category seems a little utilitarian or mercenary, but anyone who doesn't have this category in real life is either a liar or naive.

Friends: These are the people you actually choose to be with and have fun. You use IM with them extensively and see them at least once a month. Friends are people you share some personal details with. You might even mention them in your Picks or on your blog.

Fuck Buddies: OK, I admit that this one does pander a little to the sensational, and may well get picked up by the world at large as yet another example of how Second Life is positively squirming with sex. But it isn't an obligatory category. It's reserved for "Friends with Benefits." A fuck buddy lets you test out your Xcite equipment and will use your favorite pose balls and Stroker Serpentine goodies.

Confidantes: These are people to whom you will share your dark secrets and trust them not to run to the authorities or a psychoanalyst. A confidante can disagree with you without fear of being muted - an action best used on assholes who refuse to shut up. Your Confidantes list should be in single digits and maybe countable on one hand.

The One: For some people, there is going to be a need for a special category of one. This is reserved for a special person who is a colleague, friend, fuck buddy, and confidante all rolled into one. Oh, and it should be a reciprocal category - your One should have you as their One. Otherwise you ought seriously to consider demoting them to friend or fuck buddy.

So there you have it: a new taxonomy of Second Life friendships. I suppose I could open a JIRA with the suggestion of a tagged Friends list, but I'm basically idle. Rest assured, though, that if you are on my Friend list, you are also sub-categorized too.

And no, I won't tell you which. Unless you're The One, in which case you already know!

Alphamale Article Published

After spending far too much on clothing from Alphamale, I did what any other Second Life hack would do - make up a story. In the world of fashion, the cool thing is that you don't have to make too many things up provided (a) the stuff is good and (b) you can take some photos. I suppose I could have tried to get a return-on-investment by entering the Alphamale Search competition - but I couldn't work up the enthusiasm.

So just before Christmas, I got myself into "Male Model Mode" and spent an hour looking at my oiled, muscular body in the mirror before having sex with my own alt. Just kidding... it was only half an hour.

I did spend some time at a snow-covered romantic log cabin on a wintery sim, which gave me the opportunity to wear a number of sweater-and-coat-based outfits and the opportunity to spend time with a rather attractive blonde avatar who shall remain nameless, enigmatic, and add a sense of mystery to this piece.


Four of the outfits can be seen on my Flickr pages - a resource I have had for many months but haven't used for the same amount of time. This year I'm going to try to add some of the fashion pics from the articles I write. Either that or steal some from someone else.

The article and pictures are now available in this month's edition of FreeLife Magazine (Issue 32), which is also a collector's edition. After this issue, FreeLife will no longer be available as a PDF magazine but a web-based blog, which I sort of like. For the time being, it'll still be update once or twice a month, but hopefully at a later stage the editors will allow me the luxury of daily blogging - sort of like what I do hear but (a) on fashion and (b) for money. My blogs are free, but anything else I write has a price tag ;)

I'm thinking of writing a "shoe-off" between the ankle boots from Bax Coen and Stiletto Moody. I love the Coen boots (hi Miss Bonde!) but the Moody's look pretty damn cool too. Lucky I'm a guy and don't have to make a choice - because I wouldn't make a choice; I'd buy both.

Check out the Alphamale piece, even of you're not a dude - maybe you can take your guy shopping!